The 12 days of Fedmas

Former DHS senior executive Jeff Neal counts down the "12 Days of Fedmas," his adaptation of the holiday favorite for the federal workforce.

Commentary by Jeff Neal
Founder of ChiefHRO.com
& Senior Vice President, ICF International

This column was originally published on Jeff Neal’s blog, ChiefHRO.com, and was republished here with permission from the author.

Despite all of the slings and arrows directed at the federal workforce, America’s public servants go to work every day to serve the American people, and do it very well. Thanks to each and every one of you, and Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanzaa and Happy Holidays to federal employees, retirees and their families everywhere!

(Photo courtesy of Jeff Neal)
Here is my own version of the “12 Days of Christmas,” adapted a bit…

On the first day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
A shutdown and a pay freeze

On the second day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Two training cuts
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the third day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the fourth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the fifth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the sixth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Six weeks delaying
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the seventh day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Seven investigations
Six weeks delaying
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts, and
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the eighth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Eight survey shockers
Seven investigations
Six weeks delaying
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts, and
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the ninth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven investigations
Six weeks delaying
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts, and
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the 10th day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Ten useless hearings
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven investigations
Six weeks delaying
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts, and
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the 11th day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Eleven hiring freezes
Ten useless hearings
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven investigations
Six weeks delaying
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts, and
And a shutdown and a pay freeze

On the 12th day of Fedmas, the government gave to me:
Twelve retirement threats
Eleven hiring freezes
Ten useless hearings
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven investigations
Six weeks delaying
Five furlough days
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Two training cuts, and
And a shutdown and a pay freeze


Jeff Neal is a senior vice president for ICF International and founder of the blog, ChiefHRO.com. Before coming to ICF, Neal was the chief human capital officer at the Department of Homeland Security and the chief human resources officer at the Defense Logistics Agency.


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