If a fed falls in the forest ... who cares?

Friday - 6/15/2012, 2:00am EDT

A colleague once bet me that I could write a column of total gibberish and that no one would notice, if it ran on a Friday in June, July or August. He assumed a couple of things. One, that I've never produced a column of total gibberish before — which, unfortunately, I have — and two, that most federal workers either take off on Fridays or tune out if they do show up for work.

(My friend also thought that the moon landings were faked. He believed it was a government plot and the whole thing was filmed in New Jersey. Then the actors involved in the filming were killed by the people who made the film and then they were killed by hired nonfederal guns, who were then themselves killed by another gang until everybody involved in the original plot was sleeping with the fishes.) Anyhow...

I defended the work ethic of feds to the death. I pointed out that it's probably tougher to duck out of a government office (most anyhow) than it is in the private sector. Still, I never took that bet. Until now.

So while this column isn't summertime gibberish, yet, it's pretty close. After months of nonstop bad news, about threats to your 2013-2014 pay raise, about plans to raise your retirement contributions and, most recently, the TSP hacking event, this is pretty bland stuff.

All of the above begs the question: Are you there? In body or spirit? Are you working from the office or at home. If so, we'd like a brief shout-out, as to what you are doing, where or why? What's it like to have a day without bad (if vital) news? Is Friday in the good-old-summertime the same as the rest of the year. Or do you take off or take an early slide sometime.

If my friend was correct, today will be pretty slow around here. It will prove his point that you are not there, or if you are at work, that you have that you put your brain in neutral for the day.

Or not.

Anyhow, if there is anybody out there, drop us a line.

Somebody has got to defend your honor!

Who better than you?

To reach me, mcausey@federalnewsradio.com


NEARLY USELESS FACTOID

By Jack Moore

In honor of Father's Day this weekend, there are some fathers from the animal kingdom you should not emulate, according to Mental Floss. Take bass fish, for example. Daddy bass have been known to eat their own newborn offspring. Or the assassin bug, which true to name, eats some of the eggs of his future offspring he is supposed to protect.

The hardhead catfish, on the other hand, opts to starve for two month, so he can carry up to 48 eggs in his mouth until they hatch.


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